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Deadpool was at his apartment, watching TV while reading the recent issue of "Playboy Magazine." Said magazine featured the heroines of the Marvel Universe.

"Let's see here..... Rouge, would do, but would die. Psylocke, definitely. Firestar, meh. Phoenix, she'd burn off my dick...."


Deadpool found himself on a stranded island, missing the magazine.

"Aww.... Well, at least I have some weapons on hand."

Deadpool aligned his weapons in a fixed order, and had mentally given them names. He started his weapons roll-call.

"Charley and Avocado the pistols..... Oh, there they are! Zackillerkrabs, the Bazooka..... Here! And over here, Ho, ho, ho! Miss Stephanie and Miss Jane the katanas.... Would do, but, well, they're katanas.

"I'm Popeye the Sailor Man....

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!

I'm strong to the finich, cause I eats me spinach...

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!"

Popeye was sailing the seven seas, looking for an island to have a BBQ at, along with Olive Oyl and Wimpy (Who was eating the raw hamburgers).

"Now Wimpy, make sure you save us some of them burgers!" Popeye reminded Wimpy.

Wimpy, with a slight hint of nervousness in his voice, replied with a "S-Sure! I-I'll wait..."

Popeye could detect the lie in Wimpy's voice.

"Yeah, IknowaliewhenIhearone, don'ttrytotrickme." Popeye mumbled under his breath, as he sometimes did.

"Now, Popeye, give him a chance, he could be telling the truth-"

Olive Oyl paused when she saw Wimpy consuming some of the uncooked meat.

"-I see what you mean."

"Eh, I prefer me Spinach."

Popeye kinda stopped caring about Wimpy eating their food. He did bring Hot-Dogs and a hidden stash of burger meat for the trip, after all. But he preferred his Spinach anyways.

"Me sweet Olive, may I have the telescope?"

Olive handed Popeye the telescope. and he looked into it. Looking around, he saw one island.

"Found an island."

"But is it safe for my burgers?" Wimpy asked the sailor.

"Yeah, they'll be safe..." Popeye replied. He doubted Wimpy cared more for the burgers than his own life.

Popeye examined the island closer.... He saw a man in red and black clothing, Katana's sheathed in his back.

"Ah, sowhatisthatfellowdoing?" Popeye mumbled again.

He saw a rouges gallery of weapons, spread across the shore. He seemed to be talking to them....

Popeye immediately assumed that this guy was insane. He was gonna check this fellow out, as he should know that playing with weapons is not safe!

Popeye let Wimpy and Olive hop into the lifeboat, and directed them to the other side of the island. He didn't want his friends getting hurt!

As soon as the two got to the other side, Popeye turned his boat towards this red maniac. Whoever he was, he had NO idea how much danger he was in.

Popeye parked his boat, and calmly walked towards the lad. He didn't want to set off anything, after all.

"Excuse me, lad, but do you know those weapons are kinda dangerous?"

Deadpool turned his head towards the sailor. He looked old, so why should he have any credibility?

"Listen, baldy, dangerous ones are my favorite kind! At least you stopped me from dry-humping this Katana."

Popeye stared in shock. Did he just say.....

"You look confused. Are you a virgin?"

Popeye raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry pal, but I don't talk like that! You're parents should've stuck the soap in your mouth a long time ago!"

"Huh. So, would you swear violently if I blew up your ship?"

Before Popeye answered, Deadpool fired his rocket launcher, and blew up the ship.

Popeye grew an angry look, his ears shooting out smoke in anger.

"No, but I'll roughs ya up!"

Deadpool gathered all of his weapons, and stored them in an unknown location.

"All right, but sailor, do you like Christmas? Because I'm the ghost of Christmas KICK YOUR ASS!"

"You'llwishyouwere, youlittlepunk." Popeye mumbled.


Deadpool ran like a cartoon character at his opponent, dual-wielding Katanas. Deadpool raised them over his head, and aimed to slice the cockeyed sailor in half.

Popeye grabbed them with both of his hands, and spun Deadpool around. He threw Deadpool into a tree, with a coconut falling on Deadpool's head.

"Wait! You didn't get a cut on your hands or anything?"

Popeye raised both of his hands.


Deadpool took out a teddy bear and tossed it in Popeye's face. Popeye caught the bear in his hands.

Popeye made a mental note to give this to Olive later. He put it away, and saw a flurry of bullets heading towards him. Popeye outran the bullets, and managed to reach Deadpool. Once this happened, Deadpool was met with a series of quick jabs, one of them taking off his arm.

Popeye looked at the arm of his opponent.

"You wanna keep going? Ya's seems to be disarmed at the moment."

"Hold on a minute, I'll fix this flesh wound."

Deadpool threw a smoke bomb at Popeye, which emitted a large cloud of smoke, blinding the sailor. Deadpool proceeded to re-attach his arm.

"Oh, youlittleninjaguy!" Popeye mumbled under his breath. Popeye took a deep breath, and shot a huge wind out of his mouth. Said wind sent Deadpool through a few trees.

"Oh, jeez! I wonder what else you blow...."

Popeye had another stare of shock on his face.

"Man, didyouhaveparents? Ifso, theysworealot!" Popeye mumbled.

"Man, your mumbling is weird. How about THIS?"

Deadpool took out two pistols and fired them at Popeye. Popeye outran them, and started winding up his fist.

Popeye slammed his fist into the ground, and starts digging.

Deadpool backs up, and puts a hand over his ear. He did hear Popeye digging towards him. Time to trick him!

Popeye stopped digging. Deadpool tiptoed backwards one step....

Popeye did a spinning punch as he sprouted out of the sand. He missed Deadpool! Deadpool countered.

"SHORYUKEN!"...... To Popeye's crotch.

Popeye got a pained look and as he hunched over, Deadpool raised his foot, and kicked him in the butt.

As Popeye was sent flying, Deadpool unloaded his Machine Gun on Popeye. Every bullet hit Popeye, and, once he landed, he looked like swiss cheese, but instead of holes, pure silver.

Deadpool noticed that no blood came out.

"Well, there goes my problem! And do I smell hamburgers and a woman?"

Popeye's eye opened as he heard that.

"Nobody takes me Olive Oyl!"

Deadpool turned around, shocked.

"B-But how? You got plugged with bullets!"

Popeye took out a can labeled "Spinach", took out the vegetable, and ate it whole.

"Ya had your fun! Now it's my turn!"

Popeye's chest and stomach puffed up, and each and every bullet popped back out and hit Deadpool.

As his chest puffed back to normal, Popeye's arms popped up, and every bullet in his arm shot and hit Deadpool.

"OW! That hurt me!"

"That doesn't compare, to what I'M gonna do to you."

Popeye cracked his knuckles. Deadpool took out his Bazooka.

"Eat this, along with your spinach!" Deadpool shouted at the menacing sailor.

The shot fired.

It hit him, point blank.

As soon as it hit, it exploded.

Popeye walked out, not phased in the slightest.

Deadpool fired the one remaining shot from the Bazoka.

Popeye grabbed the rocket, and tossed it back to Deadpool. It missed.

Deadpool, in a state of panic, unloaded his Machine Gun onto Popeye. They all bounced off of Popeye.

Suddenly, the voices in Deadpool's head started talking.

"This weapon isn't working, Deadpool!"

"It's game over, man, GAME OVER!"

Deadpool responded to these voices, not realizing he ran out of ammo.

"Look, guys, I'll defeat this guy. No matter the cost! Well, he'll have to give me money after I kill him."

One voice resoponded.

"Um.... He's right there."

Deadpool looked forward, and saw the glaring sailor.

Deadpool swung his katana.

When it hit, it got dented.

A nervous Deadpool said: "Um..... Hi?"

Popeye uppercutted Deadpool, sending him through the time stream.

Deadpool turned into Wade Wilson, the Wade before the Weapon X Program.

"Huh? How'd he do that?"

Suddenly, Wade was in outer space, with Popeye lifting the Earth.


Popeye slammed the Earth against the before Weapon-X Wade. This time, no Healing Factor was kicking in as Wade went "SPLAT!" upon the island they were fighting on.

Popeye flew back to the island and landed. Once he saw the splat that was once Deadpool/Wade Wilson.

Popeye started a song:

"Looks like I didn't die,

to that ninja guy,

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!"


Popeye goes to find Olive and Wimpy, while Wade is just... Broken.


Killer: My soul just shattered.

Mr. Krabs: This really wasn't a contest. While Deadpool's healing factor and unpredictability kept Popeye on his toes, Popeye was just too much for Deadpool.

Zac: Even in base form, Popeye was smarter and faster, and his strength and durability far exceed that of Deadpool's.

Killer: His Spinach completely stomped Deadpool, as none of Wade's weapons would come close to hurting Popeye.

Zac: And, yes, Popeye has punched someone through the time stream before, but that's not even his best feat!

Killer: Popeye once lifted the Earth. This means he can lift 6.6 Sextillion Tons!

Mr. Krabs: Now, I wrote a song. Want to sing it with me?

Zac and Killer: *After Reading it* Sure.

All three of them:

All of the rage,

will be in the comments page,

the winner is Popeye the Sailor Man!


+Was WAY Stronger.
+Much more durable.
+Had more powerful attacks.
+Much smarter.
+Spinach FTW.
+Had a fair bit of unpredictability.

+Healing factor kept Popeye busy.
-Nowhere near the strength of Popeye.
-Even with the Healing Factor, was less durable.
-Could not hope to match Popeye's spinach-
-Nor could he hurt Popeye in that form.
I'm ready for the rage.
Add a Comment:
R-X-Z Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
LOLZ WUT? Deadpool actually lost a match?
MrPoPoPls Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014
Lol Problem with this, just wait a few days till he is kicked out of death.
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014
"Wade, what happened?"

"Some asshole managed to kill me."

".... Get the fuck out of here."
MrPoPoPls Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014
That is what happens when you try to hook up with Death.
MarioSonicEpic123 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Tbh I'd say Popeye wins, just cause of the cartoon logic
Andx1251 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014
What episode did popeye punch any one though time just wondering
Mojaramask Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I strongly disagree with your result, as you give Popeye his 4th Wall Breaking and manipulating powers, but not Deadpool. C'mon, once Deadpool left his own comic and slaughtered Marvel studios. Truth be told, if he was in character, he'd break out of the fight and burn Popeye film reels before they ever existed. Popeye's fourth wall manipulation is strong, but Wade's is MUCH stronger.
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014
Even still, Deadpool would've had his ass handed to him before he broke the fourth wall at all. Plus, if Deadpool tried to do that, Popeye would beat him up. In one of the shorts, Popeye beat up an animator who tried to erase him from existence. Who said Popeye couldn't do that here? He'd be able to catch up to Deadpool, as Popeye has far better speed.
Mojaramask Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Right, but isn't it odd that Deadpool doesn't manipulate the fourth wall at all in this fight?
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014
I will admit it was a screw-up on my part, but both breakings of the 4th wall would counter each other.
Water-Frez Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Feels rushed. Try to draw the fight out more. If your lines are only one sentence, you should really expand on them to give the audience more to look read.
asdfmovienerd39 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Huh...didn't  expect that.  Is Popeye even capable of sending someone through the time stream?
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
He once did that to Bluto, and turned Bluto into a baby.
asdfmovienerd39 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Oh okay.
sluglo Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Nice one! Sure was a great start to a new season.
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Thank you.
sluglo Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
One complaint: I felt the pace of the fight was too quick.
batkong40 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Nice fight, and that was clever the way the bazooka was named after all of your hosts.
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Thank you.
armadrillo1234 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
NOOOO DEADPOOL.Good job on the fight doe.
MikeSpikester11 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Don't worry Deadpool fans, due to his amazing healing, Deadpool will regenerate from the splat. ;)
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Actually, Popeye punched Deadpool through the time stream, which turned Deadpool into before-Weapon-X Wade Wilson, without the healing factor. He isn't healing from that one.
asdfmovienerd39 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
 But Wade is a comic book character. No matter what, his writers would find a way to revive him.
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
MikeSpikester11 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Ah okay then.
TheSaiyanAssassin Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
As much as I love Deadpool, I totally agree with the result. Good job!
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Thank you....

But this might be the last Deadpool fan who does NOT rage at me....

My body is ready..
MetaMaster54610 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Looks like Popeye made it to the top tier.
Zacmariozero Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Not all that surprising, considering how OP he is.
THE-DEADLIEST-DOGE Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014   General Artist
Who else did he beat?
MetaMaster54610 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Luffy and Mario.
THE-DEADLIEST-DOGE Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014   General Artist
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
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